Right now, I am sleep deprived and emotionally drained. I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take, but I am NOT going to give up.
Last night, I confronted the person that was spreading lies about me. I wasn't mean, I was lighthearted about the whole thing. I simply said, "Hey *so-and-so* can you tell me about this list that I have?" (Since I have no idea about this list that I supposedly have been keeping with people's mistakes and faults on it so I can turn it in to my boss.) So-and-so turned on me, raised her voice and said, "Don't even go there! I started my day with this and I don't want to end it with this! Don't talk to me!"
It took everything in me not to raise my voice, "But I would like to know, what you are talking about and why you are telling people these things."
so she says, still with a raised voice. "No! I don't want to tell you because you have been spreading lies about me." All of this was said without her looking at me in the eye and without me even raising my voice.
I turned around in my chair and tried to hide the fact that I was crying. Mainly, because I was so angry, but also because I was extremely hurt. Luckily, the person I was relieving was there and suggested we go check the rooms. So we went clear back to the very last room and I cried. I HATE crying in front of people and I hate the fact that i cry when I am angry. I spent most of my work night crying. My blood pressure was extremely high and the girls we afraid that I would pass out. I just reassured them that I was fine and went on about my work.
Now, I am about to start my 12 hour shift and I am just praying that I can remain strong and show that I am the bigger person.
P.s. I am so sorry for the lack of positivity lately. Its been kind of hard to stay so positive during this ordeal, but I know I will pull through it and bounce back.