Saturday, October 23, 2010

Silly face Saturday...

Smile! Its the weekend! :D

Boy am I sleepy. I worked midnights last night and then I cam home and slept for only about 4 hours. Boo! But I needed to get up because I want to sleep tonight. haha. I'm off tonight but then I go back in Sunday night, get off Monday @ 7am and then turn around and go back to work Monday @ 3pm. I am going to be exhausted by then! So I plan on sleeping in tomorrow to make up for the lack of sleep I will be getting. 
Last night work was...relaxing? I basically got my work done in about 2 hours and then I pretty much baby sat and crocheted the rest of the night. Right now I am working on making a Cowl Scarf. Its been so long since I have crocheted last that it took a while for me to get back into the hang of it (I ripped it apart about 4 times last night and started over) but now I can't put it down. Unfortunately, dummy me only picked up on skein of yarn instead of two and I need to make a trip to the store to get the second so I can finish this beauty.  

Something you hope you never have to do.

There are plenty of things that I could list, but the main one is: I hope that I never have to bury my child or my husband. This is one of my biggest fears. They are my world and as much as I'd like to say that I would get through it...I'm not sure that I could. My husband and I have talked about this a few times, especially, with the most recent events (the loss of my hubs' friend/ coworker and the fire on Tuesday that claimed the life of a 2 year old girl.) I can't imagine losing my daughter and the thought itself brings tears to my eyes. I'd hope that I would turn to the Lord for comfort, but I'm sure it sounds easier than what it is. I'd like to think that I wouldn't blame Him or turn away from Him, but is it that easy?  I know that I would give anything to switch places with my daughter if anything of the sorts (Lord forbid) happened to her. I know that I would fight for her no matter what. 
My hubs and I have talked about the "what ifs" when it comes to either of us passing away young. I cried then and I tear up now. I know that if anything happened to me that I would want my hubs to take Evangelina and move to Guadalajara so that he could get the emotional support from his family. All he has is my daughter and myself here in Ohio and I know that if he stayed here it would hurt him more than it would help him. I made him promise, though, that if something happened to me and he did move away that he would send Evangelina back here to my family every chance that he got. That way they could still remain apart of her life and I made the same promise to him. 
I'd like to think that if anything happened to him I would be strong and carry on for my daughter, but I've got that little fear that I couldn't. I fear that I would be a wreck without him and that i couldn't move on. That's why I hope that we grow old and gray together and we spend our evening snuggled under a blanket on a porch swing just swinging our days away. I hope that when we do pass that we pass together and in our sleeps...Yes, like The Notebook, but it doesn't hurt to hope for that.

This 30 Days of Truth needs some more uplifting topics...haha.

And now I leave you with a little oldie but a goodie!
(Does anyone else feel like they are getting spit on while watching this video or is it just me?)

I hope that you all have a wonderful evening! 
Take care beauties! 


ashleigh said...

My biggest fear is death! I am terrified of it! After my son was born I was pretty much obsessed with the thought and cried everyday about it! I am much better now with the thought but it is still my biggest fear! Who will make sure my kids know me, the real me, the me I want them to know as an adult!? Who will make sure they brush their teeth? ... I know Im nuts! LOL! And the thought of losing my husband is too painful of a thought I do my best to never think it!
Heres to growing old with our loves and having lots of grandbabies from our babies!! :)

Jessica said...

i'm the same way as far as death and loss goes. i'm such a worry wart and i cry at even the thought of anything happening to anyone in my family too! that's why i try to always stay positive and be grateful for everything, and everyone, every single day. ;o)

ag. said...

Love your silly face! :)

Hope you're embracing every day with all the important people in your life!

Vic said...

I can only imagine losing a child or my man. I witnessed far too many parents losing a child and my heart breaks for them. I have worried so much about it that i've thought about how i would react and what would i do....would i be strong and hold it together, embrace the moments we shared and know that i gave them all the love a mother could ever give her child...or would i brake into pieces and hurt myself.....i don't know....i know i wouldn't harm myself if my other daughter was still alive but i don't know how i would change....for the worse...the's so heartbreaking to even think about....see what your doing to me...i'm writing a whole freaking post on your comments...haha

ur too damn cute...i love your pics...they make me smile....all the time and i wish we could share some togetha!:)

amylou said...

you sound crazy busy! Get your rest girl. What a sweet post. I don't know what I would do either. All I can say is I would definitely need my family!

Brittany said...

I made my son's father promise that if I passed away that he would allow my family to be involved! (and vice versa)

Its good that you've talked about these things.. but I bet it was very emotional when you did!

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